OK, you’ve got me:

You’ve figured out my devious plot,

you clever bastards, you.

That’s right,

I admit it:

my antisocial ways

were nothing but a plot

to bring you all to your ankles.

I’ve been fooling you fuckers this whole time.

You must admit,

’twas an impressive trick;

how long it all went on,

like Andy Kaufman.

I had everything to gain, too.

Just look at me--

Pope on the hill with his arms spread,

feeling the breeze,

hoarding so much o’ the breeze from you all.

ha ha ha ha ha!

I bet you had so many better uses for that air I sucked,

but, nope!

To late to get ’em back, Tim!

But I knew you’d catch me in the act soon.

The rat’s always snatched by the clever cats.

& you were all such clever cats...

But that’s OK.

I’m perfectly prepared to accept my punishment.

I deserve it.

So, what are you waiting for?

You’ve already carefully collaborated all o’ the evidence you need.

So bulk up,

be honest with yourself for once,

& once & for all, do the necessary deed gainst me.