The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten


January is the deadest month.

While April fulfills my thirst for rain,

January is just frigid bones with no touch.

This is an empirical fact.

February carries pink love in leaky thaws;

March marches freshly green;

April fulfills my thirst for rain;

May’s gardens sting with soft dirt & honey bees;

June blooms with baby blue skies & seagulls;

July flies dark nights with bright lights;

August comes with cooling summer’s harvest moon;

September sleeps with orange leaves;

October explodes with dark winds & orange sweets;

November greets me gristly gray;

& December embers in soft snow.

¿What did January e’er have?

¿A time to leave soothing warm holidays

& return out to the cold, to bitter-blooded work,

killing yet ’nother year in time’s unending holocaust gainst those who age,

till all there’s left is piles o’ knock-off fire fuel;

a return to crippled promises for habits you’ll ne’er kill

in petty attempts to spread falling years thin?

In new-year blizzards,

keep barks you kept:

remembering cinnamon.

Here taunts the Super Blue Blood Full Moon™,

cooing cooly in my ear,


from now on 2018 will be a sweet year>。

¿But when has the moon e’er been there?

Certainly not in February.

Every week it seems somebody’s promising me a “Blood Moon” here, a solar or lunar eclipse there,

& they ne’er showed themselves to me — I had to steal that image from some free photo website.

That’s right: it’s all been a lie the prime o’ the time.

While the people it doted on moved on to the sun,

I was waiting all the time,

& it ne’er reflected light on me.

¿& now it wanted me to reflect light I don’t have back?


<Es lieferte die Gezeiten;

<du hast sie einfach nie bemerkt>.

O, ich hasste sie — that’s clear as a new moon now.

Now I notice the floods fine.

I notice now that the buckets will ne’er need to be filled e’er ’gain.

I got my break all right.

¿What was it you said?

“‘Everything is safe here’, they said”.

Everything sure feels cosy now here in bloodless January.


<¿Erinnerst du dich nicht?

<Ich sagte, ¿Wen bist du?>

I’m ol’ now,

& I have no mo’ time for doubts,

no matter how true they are.

The pupil has become the prefect;

& I think I’ve finally got this role pat perfect…

a week after the play finished.

Komm zusammen, zusammen als einer.

Komm für Luzifers Sohn zusammen.

But no matter how true everything you say is,

you are not a close friend;

you are a close enemy. Remember that.

& with every birth o’ every Magical Socialist,

there comes a death.

That’s equillibrium.

Remember that.

Now, ¿who are you?

<¿Wer bin ich?

<Ich bin nicht...>

You are nothing.

<Ich bin... nichts...>

Remember that.

Y si se parece que no tuve la intención de hacerlo antes…

que no sabrías, porque descuidé publicar esa poema,

al igual que descuidé todo lo demas —

habitaciones limpias y mesas con espacio para rompecabezas con 1000 piezas.

La vida es demasiada preocupada, demasiada cansada para darse cuenta a todas las piezas acogedoras.

Y los ojos con fronteras negras miran en silencio mientras notan la manera que el tiempo han perdido aquel lata de café, también.

Y ahora los tacos han vuelto demasiado fríos, demasiado viejos para comer.

No tiempo está a salvo de las purgas de enero — ni siquiera Taco Time.

Es cierto que yo había pensado en ellos

es solo que creí que “he dicho demasiado”.

Pero dije nada. Cosas “graciosas” como sitios del web.

Pues, no estoy risando ahora.

Qué cerca y tan lejos…

Resulta que 2015 no fue tan malo como esperaba;

Lo peor siempre seguirá viniendo.

These are the words I’ve ne’er said,

& thus these are the words I’ll ne’er say —

It’s too late.

As a wise profit once said:

“While I can’t be understood,

I shall be misunderstood”.

But, sure, 2018 will be a hoot in a boot.

Kleiner Schatz, ist es ein langer, kalter, einsamer Winter, gewesen.

Kleiner Schatz, es fühlt sich an wie Jahre, seit es hier ist.

Kleiner Schatz, ich habe das Gefühl, dass Eis langsam schmilzt.

Kleiner Schatz, es fühlt sich an wie Jahre, seit es klar ist.

Hier kommt die Sonne.

Maple limbs

empty o’ all leaves ~

words unwritten.

The prosecution rests their case.

Posted in Crazy, Deutsch, Española, Haiku, Senryu y amigos, Poetry


There was hardly e’en an October.

It’s as the ol’ fable fits:

if the glove doesn’t git,

’scape your shell

& throw ’way the keys to the public, private.


You can ne’er revert;

you only wear worse.

As you can see,

these snowflakes on Marxmas Eve don’t click.

Only in November,

which also wasn’t there to be remembered.

It’s as the ol’ pros goad:

“We were always @ war with your hope, huh”.

No, sí, oí la canción en diciembre años pasados.

Debe haber ser 2009

— No fue un año malo, dice.

— Fue. Y no me llame «dice».

Soy solo uno,

y no puede jugar uno con dudos.

— Please die.

Years twilight

& daylight darkens ~

winter’s fall.

Posted in Española, Haiku, Senryu y amigos, Poetry



forgot to fill the bucket ’gain.

They won’t let me forget it

— not for 1 second.

Gotta keep the clocks running on graphite

all night,

& then it falls on us all

— ¿& who ya gonna call?

You don’t have the network to just say “Fuck it”, grandson.

You done dumped the bakers dozen with the unscrubbed bathtub, cousin,

leaving thin, few soup stuffed with supertension salt.

When in the way o’ the crabby, you learn to dig graves.

Grasping clump o’ sand after clump o’ sand...

“Everything is safe here”, they said.

& e’en in the mirror mode,

I still await my punishment for eating my cookies too early.

Posted in Poetry

Sucky Stages: World 5-9 o’ Super Mario Bros. 3

Since I mentioned my favorite level from Super Mario Bros. 3 yesterday, ¿how ’bout I write ’bout my least favorite level today?

I’m sure I’ve mentioned in the my big “Super Mario Bros. 3 vs. Super Mario World” article how much I hate autoscrollers, or a’least those that don’t let you scroll ’head o’ them. They’re almost ne’er timed so that you don’t have to wait round most o’ the time. General rule: if I have to wait round doing nothing, your level’s not paced well.

Sadly, Super Mario Bros. 3 & Super Mario World have plenty o’ autoscrollers, & I don’t think any o’ them were hardly good or were improved by being autoscrollers. The 1 exception I can think o’ is the airship in World 8 o’ Super Mario Bros. 3, which is the only autoscroller that didn’t scroll @ the speed o’ slugs. That’s the 1 level ’mong both these games that uses autoscrollers how they, presumably, should be used: to force you to keep pace, which is the opposite o’ “wait round doing nothing”. & if ’twere the only level to have it, perhaps “autoscroller” would’ve been a fresh special gimmick rather than a cliché so trite we already have a well-known name for it. You have to admit, this is 1 thing the 1st Donkey Kong Country & almost all o’ Diddy’s Kong Quest ( “Castle Crush” is the only exception ) did better than classic Mario games.

The absolute nadir for Super Mario Bros. 3 autoscrollers is unquestionably World 5-9. ¡Just look @ its map & see for yourself! ¡It’s literally just “Wooden platform, wooden platform, wooden platform, wooden platform, wooden platform — ¡Ooo! ¡Now there’s a Fire Chomp with a janky hitbox!”! That must’ve taken, like, a minute to design. I praised Super Mario Bros. 3 for having mo’ focused levels than Super Mario World, but sometimes it took it too far into the realm o’ monotony.

But the map, which a’least looks short, doesn’t show how unbearably slow it moves. I guess the actually difficulty was s’posed to be surviving the Fire Chomps for a certain amount o’ time. So it’s a diagonal elevator level — ’cause everyone loves those.

In general, World 5 is a bit o’ a weak point o’ Super Mario Bros. 3 — with only World 8 as possibly worse, due to having a full 4 autoscrollers, 2 o’ which are impossible to distinguish ( though the real levels it does have are good ’nough to almost undo that ). A’least the upper sky part o’ World 5’s quite weak. Yeah, the lower part has that Kuribo’s Shoe level; but that level’s only truly good ’cause o’ Kuribo’s Shoe & the slightly funny joke o’ taking a pipe down into the sky o’ ’nother outside area; otherwise, it’s just a bunch o’ pipes & Piranha Plants. I guess that works @ demoing Kuribo’s Shoe & its ability to stomp on Piranha Plants.

To be fair, the upper area has some good levels, like 5-5 & it’s subtly clever brick & donut-block puzzles, & 5-4 makes a decent introduction to those fucking mental 2D fidget spinners, mate; but then you have 5-6, which is just a copypasta swarm o’ Para-Beetles, 5-8, which is just “Here’s Lakitu”, with level design as advanced as that you’d find in the original Super Mario Bros., & the 2nd fortress, which is just a bunch o’ simple jumps with Podoboos & magical ceiling lava that’s e’en less advanced than every castle level in the the original Super Mario Bros. — ¿& what the hell does a red, hot lava fortress have to do with the sky?

Now that I’m looking through World 5’s maps: 5-2 is a good level, but it’s an underground level. ¿What the hell is an underground level doing in sky world? That’s the exact opposite o’ the sky. The 1st part o’ this level, where you can skip the rest o’ the level with careful jumps o’er note blocks, is so memorable; but I thought I remembered it from World 7, where it fucking belongs.

Posted in Sucky Stages, Video Games