The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

O: Moderate Liberals Known for Pragmatism Zzzzzz…

I guess Democrats failed ’gain this year, I think. That’s what all the progressives whining all o’er Reddit seem to imply. All I know for sure is that some WASP-ass right-wing honkey beat some moderately liberal honkey in Virginia. I guess this is s’posed to be surprising, since apparently this hick town is solid blue. According to the senile ol’ men who run CNN, this spells trouble for Democrats, since “a tie in this year’s gubernatorial election would essentially be in line with Republicans winning the national House vote by 5 points next year”. I guess political hacks all follow the gambler’s fallacy. It’s just like how the Democrats winning the Presidency & both parts o’ the legislature in 2020 proves that Democrats would wipe the floor with the next election.

I hear Youngkin did run on a strong policy o’ whining ’bout the fear o’ whitebread, chicken-shit motherfucker children being taught that they’re whitebread, chickenshit motherfuckers — also known as “CRT”, or “Critical Righteous Traintown” — & ’cause the other guy whose name I can’t be bothered to remember made the gaff o’ telling inbred parents they’re too dumb to decide what their children should “learn”, as opposed to people with actual degrees & credentials. This is 100% true, but you don’t win elections by honestly telling idiots they’re idiots. Shockingly, they don’t admire you for that, but, in fact, double-down on their idiocy, like these idiots did when the painstream media asked them if they knew what Capacious Rapturous Tommyguns is & they said, no, but that which I don’t understand can’t kill me. & then they died o’ COVID, the end, hope you liked my story, like & subscribe & leave a comment, it helps this channel out, sponsored by manscaped RAID VPN.

But the other results in other states I couldn’t care ’bout are mo’ mixed. New York’s brain-damaged brother, New Jersey, still hasn’t gotten their shit together & decided their election. I’m pretty sure they’re a blue state, so ’twould be an embarrassment if they let a Republican win, but then they did let Chris Christie win, e’en tho I’ve ne’er met anyone who likes him. Then ’gain, I’ve ne’er met anyone who likes New Jersey, either.

In Ohio, 1 Democrat won & 1 Republican won, which must be filling centrists like Jonathan Chait with cum. ¿Is that man e’en still alive? ¿Did he die o’ COVID? ¿Who cares? NBC News doesn’t bother to tell me who occupied these seats before, so I’m not bothering to link to them. I bet their crying to themselves all night @ the loss o’ such a juicy link. According to Wikipedia, these seats were tied, tho, mo’ hilariously, Wikipedia also informs me that 1 o’ these bums will have to give up their seat in 2022 ’cause Ohio loses a representative ’cause nobody wants to live in that shithole & everyone left. That won’t stop them from deciding national elections, howe’er, ’cause that’s how the US’s pretend democracy republic oligarchy works. According to MSN, Democrats “dominated” the Cincinnati council as well as mayorship & that this year had a record-low voter turnout ’cause Americans are coming to their senses & realizing that the US electoral system is a sham & that violent revolt sitting @ home playing with their pee-pees while scarfing down Doritos is the only solution. O’erall, this seems mostly positive for Democrats, which, if anything, seems like it tends to lean Republican — tho Cincinnati is a blue city. They did vote out an anti-corruption bill, tho, since Ohios still love their corruption.

Florida’s election is just primaries, e’en tho its November, ’cause Florida is always a backward swamp.

The 1 “major” loss for Democrats is in my city, Seattle, where a super progressive lost to a moderate Republican as district general. This super progressive supported such deranged, radical policies as forcing minor offenders to see therapists or addiction councilors, rather than the rational, scientific approach o’ sticking them in a cage with a bunch o’ violent drug addicts & hope they turn out to be law-abiding, successful citizens afterward.

So it sounds like the real reasons progressives are so glum is just that this election has reminded them that states like New Jersey, Virginia, Ohio, & Florida exist. I think centrists & progressives just want any ’scuse to pull out a bitchfight o’er who’s to blame for their failure to win invalid elections systems, e’en when they do sorta win them.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I agree that in the short run Republicans are totally going to take o’er the country & ramp up authoritarianism ( tho in the long run I think the social democrats will be burying them, as, historically, social democrats always have done to fascists, since fascists can’t last for mo’ than a couple decades @ most, usually less than 1 decade — just look @ who runs Germany & Spain now ). But I think this will be less due to whate’er arcane sign this election will foretell & mo’ ’cause Republicans orchestrated an insurrection & Democrats are such laughable pusho’ers that e’en when their lives were endangered they still haven’t done shit to protect themselves beyond walking out ( surrendering like pussies ) when 1 o’ them becomes an elected official. Beloved leaders like Lincoln or Churchill wouldn’t have flinched before ramming the military hard on such acts o’ treason, but to the Democrats, that would be uncivil, which is why they are well-remembered, since nobody likes civil politicians ’cause they’re fucking losers.

I almost didn’t e’en want to bother posting this or e’en reinstating the host for this blog ’cause my host stupidly forgot how to charge my credit card — ¿what kind o’ un-American commies forget how to charge a credit card? Next year you Democrats better truly get your asses rammed in in an exciting & sexy way or I’m just going to write a haiku ’bout dog shit like I should’ve sufficed with last year.

Posted in Elections, Politics

Boskeopolis Stories: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ASSASSINATIONS MAKE AN ASS ASS OF I AND NATIONS

TEASER

* * *

INT. SMOGGY SMELTER WALKWAY

It’s hard to see anything thru the thick curtain o’ mustard-colored smog rising from below the screen, mixed with the low light.

CLOSE UP to the faint view o’ a handrail, where a lobster claw slides past view, followed by a white-gloved hand, & then a row o’ similar gloves in close approximation.

A somewhat NASALLY voice, but 1 with a tone o’ deep confidence, speaks out, tho all o’ the figures are too dark in the shadows to see where it comes from.

LANCE
Hey, ¿how much longer is this stupid walkway?
‘Cause I’ll tell you: if I slip & break
a pinky joint or bend a hair… Ooo boy,
will there be lawsuits.

AGENT P. M. MAJESTY
                      & my feet are getting tired.

EQUINOX
I think we’re deep enough.

Continue story

Posted in Boskeopolis Stories, Short Stories