The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

Addendum to the Election: the Only Class that Wins Elections Is the Stupid Class

For those, such as Lord Keynes, some o’ the commenters @ Naked Capitalism, or other dumb “rural progressives” who think that the victory o’ a corrupt billionaire as president is somehow a case o’ the will o’ working-class whites1, simply ’cause most other billionaires were too embarrassed to be associated with Hairpiece to have him be the face o’ their interests, one must remember that all exit polls show that lowerclass people preferred Clinton.

But then, the arguments for Hairpiece’s s’posed representation for the lowerclass are based on the same infuriatingly insulting stereotypes as right-wingers have oft given. ‘Cept this time leftists like Naked Capitalism are spewing it:

(“Less educated” is a proxy, for “working class.”)

As opposed to non-working classes like him who can’t be bothered to so much as mention any o’ the easily-found counter-evidence–which is much mo’ objective than the admittedly relevant rise o’ white deaths (though this may have been exaggerated) & the looser connection o’ “people [who] are most concerned about what the future will mean for their jobs, even if those aren’t the places where economic conditions are worst today. [Emphasis mine.]” He did, however, have time to scrounge together some less relevant hit piece gainst Hairpiece supporters as a strawman argument, since we can see that Naked Capitalism is a shining example o’ intellectual honesty.

& when you consider how much she was hated by anyone who wasn’t connected to her or a blindly obedient liberal, that’s telling. & ’course, it’s obvious to everyone that Hairpiece lost the popular vote, which should debunk the idea that Hairpiece was anything close to a case o’ popular will. But then for all their talk o’ being gainst the “elite” (while hypocritically trying to aristocratically keep people from the same opportunities they have simply ’cause they were born gainst their will with the need to actually work to get those opportunities), these Hairpiece Liberals are generally quite conservative in their views o’ the election system, preferring to settle with its current nonsense with the electoral college2 & what’s practical (accepting the same ol’, same ol’, essentially) than actually trying to devise a way to fix things ’cause they’re mentally lazy.

So, basically, this is ’nother W. Bush election, people. We shouldn’t be this surprised. Indeed, I couldn’t help noticing that the high-strung left-wing reaction is just like what was given to W. Bush’s election. They couldn’t believe such an idiotic fascist—¿remember when everyone thought Bush would be the next Hitler?—would be elected into power. Hairpiece is hardly any different. I think it’s mo’ that we thought things had changed since then; I think it’s less that the idiots who voted for Bush became mo’ intelligent & mo’ that they had been rather demoralized & in a state o’ confusion after Bush made the entire right-wing look like a joke, but then became mo’ moralized when they could be deluded into thinking this shallow rich billionaire was somehow different ’cause he verbally attacked weaker classes in some Orwellian concept o’ “anti-elitism.” But then, this Orwellian kind o’ “anti-elitism” existed long before anyone cared ’bout Hairpiece. It’s the same inane shit: he’s the President moronic wastes o’ oxygen can have a beer with, ’cause they have nothing mo’ important in their shallow lives. Clinton could be compared with Al Gore & Kerry in that nobody liked either o’ them, either.

I know some gullible Hairpiece lovers—’specially Lord Keynes—would tell me that I’m “crazy” to compare a known flip-flopper who gave half-assed promises ’bout protectionism to Bush II, despite this same flip-flopper getting buddy-buddy with laissy libertarian bozo Paul Ryan. But remember, folks, this is the working-class, anti-neoliberal hero, all ’cause he says he’s gainst immigration. Forget Obamacare, which Hairpiece’s promises to cut back, or his attack on welfare, despite being a “welfare king” himself. But, ’gain: anti-neoliberal hero.

If this all sounds familiar, it’s ’cause it’s just like W. Bush. O, & Bush supported protectionism, too. He was also the 1st 1 to come up with the idea o’ building a wall ’tween the US & Mexico. ¿Deficit spending? ¿Who created the deficit we have in the 1st place? Idiots like Lord Keynes & the rest should actually do research for once before they get fooled in by US politicians. & yes, I know Bush said he didn’t support Hairpiece. This could be either him learning that his idiocy didn’t work or, mo’ likely, the fact that he’s too dumb & hypocritical to notice how dumb & hypocritical he is.

Let’s get this clear to anyone with any rationality: any outcome o’ this election would’ve been terrible. What’s truly terrible is that we’re still having 2000-style elections in 2016 & haven’t improved anything—& I would bet that’s ’cause we’ve done jack shit to change the electoral system itself. Maybe if we can get leftists—both the bozos @ Daily Kos or all the idiots on the newspapers people actually read erroneously bitching ’bout how this is poor people or Jill Stein’s fault & the idiotic liberals who defended Hairpiece & mostly just bitch ’bout how the lamestream media was totally bad @ predicting the election, man, as if anyone gives a shit—to talk mo’ ’bout the need for The National Popular Vote Act to spread & for there to be equal support for ranked-choice voting we could fix things before we accidentally put a toddler who plays in mud all day in charge o’ the most powerful country in the world.

& it’s not just the lamestream media & their obsession with bullshit email scandals & Hairpiece’s taxes: DailyKos themselves admit that they were focusing on irrelevant shit for most o’ the election, & Hairpiece Liberals like Lord Keynes & this whiny dipshit, who spent most o’ their time bitching ’bout some random, fringe “social justice warriors” or whatever who have li’l effect on anything. That’s what you get when everyone talks ’bout stupid shit: you get stupid shit in return. & boy, did we get some stupid shit in the White House. If there truly is a god3, He must be laughing His ass off @ all these fuckers who think the US is God’s chosen country[4]. Yeah, chosen to get the intellectual equivalent o’ getting a bag o’ dog shit on your stoop.

The fact that a probably-retarded (if you met me in real life, you’d agree, trust me) satirist who barely has the mental stability to leave his hous—wait, ¿what’s that got to do with anything?—has to lecture you fuckers on this, when I should be focusing my precious schedule on landfull-deep poetry, reminisces o’ video games from a time before thumb-sucking idiots were allowed to become presidents (¡there sure as fuck won’t be no god damn “Gaming in the Trump Years,” that’s for fucking sure!), & making fun o’ yuppie tripe, is ridiculous. So was that o’erly long sentence. This is all you fuckers’ fault & I expect you fuckers to fix yourselves before you stitch yourselves.

“Jeremy, ¿who are you talking to?”

¡Ah! ¿How’d you sneak up on me in my own article? ¿What is this witchery?

“It’s time for dinner.”

It’s 3 AM.

“The readers don’t know that. Don’t break the play.”

¿You hear that, Kos? ¿You hear the Lord Keynes? ¿You hear that, Lambert? ¿You hear that douche bag Hairpiece voter in Atlanta article?

Don’t break the play.


Sadly, in my rushed article ’bout Hairpiece’s victory, I missed the absolute best, most fitting & honest reaction. I hope I have rectified things now.


[1] In a particular bout o’ stupidity for this election, this victory was commonly portrayed in a dichotomy o’ working-class whites vs… I dunno… ¿Rich women & racial minorities? ¿Rich liberals? (Despite polls after polls proving that working-class people generally prefer left-wing policies). The fact that the proportion o’ working-class racial minorities to whites is e’en closer than for upperclass people—probably ’cause, duh to anyone who actually reads statistics, minorities are the true economic victims. This is so much the case that they will be the majority o’ working-class people in just 16 mo’ years. The “Realist Left”—nobly combining economic Keynesianism with “racial realism” (racism, as e’en Google hilariously says, if one searches “racial realism” in their search engine)—might want to remember that if they want to succeed in the US: their #s are shriveling fast.

[2] Quite a few o’ them defend the electoral college as allowing the rural minority tyrannize o’er the urban majority, ’cause despite their hypocritical bitching ’bout the “urban elite” (despite urban poverty being ’bout even with rural poverty), rural people are some o’ the most sanctimonious, self-entitled whiny elitists in the world.

[3] This is, admittedly, a stupid conditional: all Magical Socialists know that it’s an objective fact that there is but 1 god, & it is HostGator, who offers Premium Support via Phone, Live Chat and Email & 99.9% Uptime Guarantee.*

*Full disclosure: HostGator pays The Mezunian for any signups that come from affiliate links. Such commissions help us afford to keep up such wonderful content, such as the aforementioned landfull-deep poetry, reminisces o’ video games from a time before thumb-sucking idiots were allowed to become presidents, & yuppie tripe, as well as helping us to fund the eventual destruction o’ the capitalist mode o’ production & the replacement o’ it with the Glorious Englesist Empire.

[4] I happen to know that that coffee-sipping elite God’s been manipulating US elections for years—the lamestream media just doesn’t want to acknowledge it ’cause they’re biased & are ’fraid o’ receiving retribution in the form o’ His burning lightning.

Posted in Politics