The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

¡SomethingAwful Forums is currently having an “open day” for sending their black copters out to put us all in the Gulag!

I promised I’d bring mo’ Reddit, & I brought mo’ Reddit.

Somebody posts some seemingly innocuous thread wherein they talk ’bout some “open day” wherein the self-decribed elitist SomethingAwful forums allowed the rest o’ us poor bums too cheap to pay $10 to read the entire archives. It then immediately devolves into some purple-Kool-Aid shit, completely lacking any irony @ all:

And it gets worse: organizations affiliated with SA have been outed as CIA fronts. and the founder, Richard “Lowtax” Kyanka has admitted to multiple meetings with Obama’s security team.

Follow that link to see a generic gaming website (this 1 clearly understanding the absurdity & clearly playing it for laughs) quoting the reputable source, Glenn Beck, who is an expert in all those hip young internets, yo. Nowhere does this article quote best-capitalist-supervillain-name-e’er, Richard “Lowtax” Kyanka acknowledging this other claim–but we should just assume it’s true, since rational people assume exceptional events all the time.

Then someone proves that SomethingAwful is truly a Satanic cult through exactly 1 anonymous testimony wherein some guy claims to have been hypnotized into Hollywood psychological problems by lame memes.

Also, apparently “Lowtax” uses those $10 for a secret Swiss bank to buy mail-order brides & Aeron chairs. How the latter is a conspiracy, I’m not sure. ¡True Americans buy Eames Lounge!

There’s also the tedious shit ’bout “SJWs,” which is just the modern version o’ your cranky grandpa bitching ’bout the pinkos everywhere in this neighborhood–¡Things were better in good ol’ ’02, dang nab it!

Mo’ strange was this comment:

Aye. I think someone made a list of the usernames Quinn, Nyberg, Spacedad, AMIB and others used on SA. Should be interesting doing a search and archiving what you find.

Nothing’s mo’ interesting than random usernames. I know I always spend my weekends surfing through WordPress to see all the zany usernames people picked.

It’s par for the course when you try to investigate the SJWs on SA.

That’s vaguely creepy.

Yes, it’s important that we investigate the infamous “Spacedad”–the Che Guevara o’ our time.

O, shit, this is some GG shit. Ne’er mind. Jesus, ¿How’d you break my already-low expectations? I thought this was just some crazies coming out o’ the woodwork seeing an opportunity to come out & fuck round for shits & grins; not some superserious spy fantasy wherein James Bond stops the infamous Spacedad from shooting the earth down from his moon base with anthologies o’ Anne Sexton poetry.

Posted in What the Fuck Is this Shit?