The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

I cannot believe the Stalinist New York Times is CANCELING 1 o’ their freelancers after she supported just a li’l genocide

The New York Times was embarrassed yet ’gain, as they always are, when a Disney squirrel found out 1 o’ their freelancers liked this expression o’ a political opinion, which I thought was protected freedom o’ speech & can’t be pointed out to e’eryone, embarrassing me. I’m surprised nobody has noted the irony o’ how much this staunch Zionist’s incoherent word salad mirrors Hitler’s notorious, “Who, after all, speaks of the annihilation of the Armenians?” quote ( clearly Hitler has bad taste in music & has ne’er heard the rocking songs from System of a Down ). In any case, Kanye West tells me that Hitler invented highways, so it’s surely a good idea to mirror his ideas, & we shouldn’t let the New York Times cancelculture Schwartz’s culture just like how we shouldn’t let Fantano — who is bald & divorced, & we can’t trust bald & divorced people — cancel — wait, ¿what was I talking ’bout ’gain?

Anyway, now the New York Times won’t be able to keep her around to write such totally-not-lurid tales ’bout beheading 40 child heads, — my favorite Arabian Nights story, right next to the 1 where some guy prays to God for a giant dick — as opposed to the way civilized countries kill children thru blowing them up or shooting them, meant to paint Arabs as stereotypical cartoon villains with wacky pirate sabers who should be treated as — I believe the term Verthaim used that Schwartz liked so much was “human animals”, which is redundant, as all humans are part o’ the kingdom animalia — similar to inventing a story ’bout Jewish people drinking the blood o’ their victims, which I’m sure I’ll see soon in the next Sinfest on the social media formerly known as “Twitter”, which e’en the conservative New York Post called a “conspiracy theory” ( tho perhaps with the interest o’ making Biden His Time look bad — clear proof that they’re making up that he’s making it up, since my senpai president ne’er lies. ¿What’s next, NYP: “Biden actually played as Donkey Kong in Mario Kart? ).

Also, ¿did NYT really need to write this in such a silly way:

“Those ‘likes’ are unacceptable violations of our company policy. We are currently reviewing the matter.”

“Our establishment does not find this behavior rizzed. We are currently reviewing whether or not we will cease smashing that like button on their work in the future”.

Anyway, I was lucky ’nough to stumble ’pon a much mo’ riveting article from The New York Post: “Joe Rogan and Kid Rock clash over how Israel should win war against Gaza: ‘That’s actually a war crime’”. I don’t know if we should waste these 2 intellectual titans on such a meager topic as this. I do have to say, tho, that “That’s actually a war crime” is my favorite VH1 war reality show in the dystopian world I live in ( real life ).

Having made the mistake o’ actually reading this article, I refuse to believe it isn’t a bit by both o’ these “debaters” talking ’bout war as if it’s an XBox game & the New York Post reporting dryly like the middleaged school teacher still waiting for them to turn in their paper due last week:

Kid Rock disagreed, pointing to Nagasaki and Hiroshima. “Boom. Just wiped out,” he said of the atomic bombings, which maimed hundreds of thousands of people.

I have to admit, I can’t argue with, “Boom. Just wiped out”. Check mate, mate.

But the twist is when the surprise 4th clown enters the article, with the greatest joke o’ all:

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, meanwhile, shared over the weekend that he believes the war can end within “weeks.”

But Biden His Time™ was not ’bout to be outdone in this black comedy God is apparently subjecting us to:

“I was on the telephone with the people in the region,” Biden told reporters on the South Lawn Thursday morning, adding: “Probably not by Monday, but I’m hopeful.”

¿What “people in the region”? ¿The government? ¿Hamas? I mean, considering they’re in hiding, I can imagine it isn’t easy to get contact with them. ¿Is he just cold-calling randos in Gaza, saying, “Hey, ¿are you in Hamas? ¿Could you — ¿Hello?”.

The president said earlier this week he hoped a cease-fire between Israel and Hamas could be in place in roughly a week at an ice cream shop in New York as part of an appearance on Late Night with Seth Meyers. “We’re close, we’re not done yet,” Biden said.

This will be the ace in the hole: Islamic-fundamentalist militants can’t resist New York ice cream & hearing some really funny monologues by Seth Meyers.

[Note: I only now realized the article meant that Biden said this to Seth Meyers with ice cream, not that he invited Hamas to have ice cream. Very weird how they organized this sentence: ¿why not lead with where Biden said this & end with the actually important part ’bout his goals for a weirdly hyphenated ceasefire? Putting the part ’bout ice cream & Seth Meyers @ the end makes it sound like it’s an important part o’ Biden’s strategy, not just the background to the important part. ]

The U.S. and Israel are still waiting to hear back from Hamas on whether it will agree to a six-week pause in fighting and a new proposal for a prisoners-for-hostages exchange, that person said.

I can just imagine Biden constantly calling Hamas HQ & the top leader shakes his head @ the attendant & says, <Don’t answer. It’s fucking Biden ’gain with his dumbass ice cream>.

Anyway, to bring it all back to our original discussion, The New York Times hadn’t quite fulfilled their shame fetish quota this week, so they went full throttle when 2 o’ their reporters opened up an AMA on the /r/politics subreddit & got mostly dunked on for their weak-ass coverage, including bringing up some softcore porn fanfic they wrote ’bout Trump &, ’course, that open letter gainst them regarding their transphobic coverage & their head editor, or whoe’er he was, whinily threatening workers who signed it. Unsurprisingly, they only seemed to reply to the few praiseworthy softball questions.

All o’ this internet stuff makes me think the line, “1st they came for the Communists & I did not speak out. Because I was not a Communist”, should be updated to, “1st they came for the Muslims & I burped. Because When the Sun shines upon Earth, 2 – major Time points are created on opposite sides of Earth – known as Midday and Midnight. Where the 2 major Time forces join, synergy creates 2 new minor Time points we recognize as Sunup and Sundown. The 4-equidistant time points can be considered as Time Square imprinted upon the circle of Earth. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24-hour Days within a single rotation of Earth – equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube”.

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Posted in No News Is Good News, Politics