The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

Careerealism Proves They Have the Mental Maturity o’ Teenagers

In this article, Careerealism teaches readers how to be invited to the cool kids’ table on imaginary social media that the average person doesn’t give 2 shits ’bout. This makes sense if they’re like Careerealism’s writers; if one is a hollow husk o’ vapidity & ignorance, then I can understand why one would crave other people to fill the hole that is their own person’s emptiness.

According to J.T. O’Donnell, founder of CAREEREALISM.com…

“WHEN OUR FOUNDER TELLS US TO DRINK THE PURPLE KOOL-AID, WE DRINK THE PURPLE KOOL-AID.”

So, like, as the writer talks like a dipshit teenager stereotype ’cause they, like, totally think their readers are fucking morons, they advise you to be a matchmaker ’cause people don’t find them annoying @ all.

The idea is that you should make connections by matching the connections you already have… which means you aren’t gaining any connections. ¿Or am I to believe that this writer truly believes that some businessperson would be thrilled to have some complete stranger confront them—which I think requires one to pay for some extra privileges in LinkedIn, & you don’t want to pay that shitty website anything—& trust said stranger to give good advice on whom to get help from?

Yeah, that sounds careerealistic to me—fuck, I hate that god damn name, it’s so stupid.

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Posted in Yuppy Tripe