this year i had promised myself i would not leave those cherryblossoms to shiver alone under the gray skies as i had done a year 2 years ago & after weeks o’ procrastinating on april 6, 2025, the final day o’ the cherryblossom festival, i finally forced myself to venture forth to the “quad” o’ the university of washington, where there dwelled cherryblossom trees nearly 100 years ol’. according to uw themselves, there are multiple stories explaining whence these trees originated, including being planted as part o’ fdr’s new deal policies & being gifted by japanese & japanese-american organizations various times o’er the years.

but i was greedy that day & chose to explore nearby areas while i was in the vicinity, having no idea what i would be stumbling myself into.

my venture truly began when i got off the lightrail in capitol hill @ john st. & broadway e, which is not to be mixed up with the og broadway in new york: this 1 is apparently up for lease if the advertising sign just below its name speaks truly.

there i waited for the 49 bus whose pole had a branding deal with a hello kitty character i’d ne’er seen before: the toast angel. as those who’ve seen my various photos & read my transcriptions o’ the poems i’d see on my travels know, i’ve always held a deep respect for the anonymous people who scribble out these graphics & poems when all eyes are blind in all these crannies & corners o’ cities, ne’er to have their authorialship known & ne’er to know the responses o’ all those who witness their works.

after the 49 had finally come & picked me up i departed @ harvard ave e & e shelby st. in eastview & then turned right, going down incredibly bougie neighborhoods down a steep incline on which i saw some woman impressively run down with her dog while i crept carefully with the sense that a single wrong step would cause me to topple forward. from up here i could already see portage bay @ the end — in fact, as i’d later find out, an e’en better view than @ the end:

but i eventually did reach the bottom & was able to find a decent view thru the petals o’ a cherryblossom tree that had made an early appearance:

i was not alone gazing @ this sight: standing there — if not ignorant o’ my own presence, then indifferent — also gazing into the scenery was a sturdy, hardened fire hydrant whose jungle-green pallor looked e’en mo’ rusty under the colorsucking dim skies:

howe’er, as one must always do eventually, i had to leave my new acquaintance & head back. why i went back the way i came instead o’ continuing north & seeing new scenery, i don’t recall — i think i wanted to see if i could capture a better view o’ portage bay from the other side o’ shelby st. in any case, i did catch a few nice sights going back up, including 1 home which seemed to be covered @ the front by a large fence made o’ brambles, which reminded me o’ the bramble bushes in front o’ my late grandmother’s house that she would demand i futilely try to trim down on many summers:

in contrast to the verdant fire hydrant, higher up i found a particularly dull-colored pickup truck which seemed it could be no mo’ indifferent to the extravagant sight:

& farther on i encountered a different fellow connoisseur o’ nature who definitely seemed unaware o’ my presence, so enraptured as it strolled thru its suburban alleyway surrounded by recycling bins, empty to all other life but a bush o’ pink daisies:

still not satisfied, instead o’ continuing north from my eastern distraction, i went west to the other end o’ the triangular edge to see the water on the other side — lake union, to which portage bay connected round the norther tip — @ the e allison st. public shore on fairview ave e, where i could get a much better view o’ the several suburban homes o’ many colors, spotted by the e’erpresent e’ergreen firs & many boats, lining the cliffs before the lake, careless to the danger they put themselves to by standing so precariously on the edge during an era o’ water-raising climate change, their black windows like eyes gazing as imperturbably as i was into the waters:

after this short 2nd detour, i finally continued northeast toward my main destination, the quad o’ the university o’ washington university bridge, which connected eastlake & university district across portage bay. from where i begun my northeastern path i could see a highway bridge bridging the same 2 regions straight north off i-5 from the south looming high ’bove with small flickers o’ movement o’ the cars racing in either direction:

below that bridge there was an orange sign warning me, “be prepared to stop”. later i saw another orange sign warning me to “end detour”:

i was too foolish to listen to either o’ them.

in fact, i almost immediately stopped on my path to look @ the piles o’ dirt & rock permanently parked on 1 side o’ the road, surrounded by orange & white striped traffic stands like its very own entourage.

as well as another early appearance o’ a cherryblossom tree being admired by a rare figure — but beyond mere observation; this figure wanted to feel the cherryblossoms fall onto its face & feel it round its feet:

in contrast to this quiet scene, as i crossed under the highway in the sky i could hear the rumble o’ constant creature activity up there, indifferent to the greenery below:

eventually i reached university bridge, its celadon color making a great match for the gray atmosphere around us all, its 3 bisected eyes staring straight & ignoring me, its red-&-white-striped arm held up, beckoning.

’course this bridge offered yet ’nother view o’ portage bay o’er the side o’ its short walls transitioning from green girders to darkstained stone columns, 1 big 1 holding a sign warning o’ the dangers o’ leaping into the bay. presumably this is aimed @ those foolish ’nough to think they could cannonball in for a brisk swim & not as a redundant, counterintuitive warning gainst those who seek consequences fatal & tragic:

eventually i crossed the other side o’ the bridge & after descending a few levels o’ stairs, i had entered the campus o’ university of washington, which i would soon realize was less o’ a “campus” & more o’ its own city with multiple streets, avenues, & e’en multiple bus stops:

as i entered the college grounds, i was met by a sinister sight i didn’t expect to see: under the dark shadow o’ the structure whose stairs i descended i saw an orange o’erhanging with the shadows o’ the words, “the wall of death”, guarded off by stalagmites & a wire fence. according to wikipedia, this was originally a dangerous motorcycle jump ramp that apparently became so dangerous that the seattle department of transportation blocked it off to prevent anyone from using it, relegating it now to just a sinister museum relic. & apparently the newspaper seattle weekly called it 1 o’ seattle’s worst works o’ public art, tied with some badly sculptured troll, so i’m glad i was able to capture its tackiness in this haibun.

nearby i found on the sidewalk what seemed to be a spraypainted advertisement for a new album by a band called “stray kids”. i later looked this up & found out it’s a k-pop band, tho its mix o’ hip hop & electronic elements, a’least in their 2024 albums, makes them sound a bit like linkin park — so look forward to me featuring 1 o’ their albums on “nostalgic novelty noughties nu-metal” someday, tho probably 合 (hop) hop rather than the album advertised here, ate, since “(hop) hop” is a funnier name & i love its 1st track, “walking on water”, & its chorus with its “woah-oh, woah-oh, walkin’ on — ( ¡wicky-wicky! )”.

but ’twas not just humans i saw @ the campus: in a large green field o’ grass ’tween 2 buildings i saw pecking @ said grass 2 black-necked, gray-bodied canadian geese. i took multiple photos o’ them as i edged closer to them, expecting them to flee or fly away @ any moment, but was surprised to see how comfortable they were with humans: e’en right up to their faces, just a yard away, they just turned their heads up & stared @ me stoically. i did not, howe’er, have the boldness to try going right up to them & touching them, not wanting to disturb their lunch.

as anyone familiar with my haiku knows, — or may have e’en inferred from the earlier hydrant i met @ portage bay — i have a fascination with fire hydrants with their humanlike outspread arms to the side & the jutting eye that seems to stare, so you can imagine my excitement when i saw a fire hydrant standing there, wearing the purple & yellow colors o’ the university o’ washington as if it were a student itself showing off its pride:

eventually i reached the central square known as “the quad”, where there congregated a’least dozens o’ yoshino cherryblossom trees whose leaf roofs spread so far they practically covered the sky — & covered the grass with dropped petals.

unfortunately, on that afternoon, the quad was also packed with several people, so ’twas impossible to get pictures o’ a cherryblossom tree without somebody in the picture. but someone i was happy to see, hiding up among the blossoms, was a pastel unicorn balloon:

but eventually i had to depart from these trees & continue onward. by this point i was already tired o’ wandering this huge quad & decided to take 1 o’ this campus’s many buses on stevens way & pend oreille rd to as near to my next destination as possible, which was a short half-kilometer trip on the 67 stopping on stevens way & rainier vista ne. ( i was also too tired to bother taking photos o’ said bus station ). that destination was montlake bridge, dividing portage bay & union bay. but before i crossed it i took yet another detour down sets o’ stairs to the side to get a closer look @ the bays, as well as several strange incantations painted along the wall on the other side, including “lambing szn”, “r we there yet?”, “fear the panther”, “you keep diggin’”, & “monkey bonky 2021”, their stark colors reflecting & melting into the waters.

as i stared @ the bay & the passing boats, i walked long the thin paved path strewn with red leaves — as if i had been transported to the southern hemisphere, & ’twas autumn here — fallen from canopies hanging o’er the side rails, as if trying to gaze into the bay themselves, casting cold shade o’er a lonely bench, aimed rigidly @ the bay, but with nobody sitting on it.

i retraced my steps, climbed back up the steps, & crossed this new bridge into montlake, only to immediately turn to the side @ the other end o’ the bridge to trace round the edge o’ this urban island ’long the arboretum waterfront trail, starting @ “the story of north island” totem pole. unfortunately, i could not find much information on what this “story of north island” is, beyond a review on google maps claiming that this totem pole washed up in seattle, broken into 2 pieces, & was restored by some mysterious organization know as “the committee of 33”. wikipedia claims that north island is in new zealand & the story o’ north island seems to be a māori creation myth in which a demigod named māui creates north island by fishing up a giant fish who becomes that island using his grandmother’s jawbone. this figure apparently has a litany o’ famed tales, including his last, where he attempts to gain immortality for humanity by… climbing into a goddess’s vagina & slipping out thru her mouth, only for her obsidian vagina teeth to chew him to death — proving that humanity’s affinity for strange fetishes, which so many think spawned from the internet, in fact predated the written word. one wonders if the old image o’ the caveman dragging his wife by the hair was really the earliest form o’ consensual bdsm.

this trail was a 20-minute hike, crossing 2 li’l islands, marsh island & foster island. that wasn’t the part that surprised me, having mapped out my arbitrary voyage before i left home — tho i didn’t anticipate how tired ’twould leave me, bold on the memory o’ having spent a whole week doing nothing but walking around in new york city last october. what i hadn’t expected was the effect that the rain, which i had intentionally scheduled into my trip so i could get the best view o’ scenery possible, would have on the trail. @ this point what i anticipated to be a light drizzle turned into heavier showers, making e’erything soaking wet, from myself to the wooden decks, which shone light gray under e’en the most cloud-muffled o’ suns:

the effect was that this “trail” was thru swampland, whose dirt paths made for walking were transformed by the storm’s baleful magic into mud lakes one had to wade thru & whose waters swelled so that they submerged half o’ 1 bridge. i, who had ne’er learned to swim, crossed this with trepidation.

this trail had me cross quite a few steel bridges, 1 o’ which contorted & craned on for several yards; & tho only 1 was outright submerged in water, none o’ them felt so sturdy that i was sure none o’ them could collapse into the water any minute.

eventually i made it to the end o’ this seemingly ne’erending trail @ memory point, where a stonebordered cliff o’erlooked union bay & in the distance i had just crossed i could see the faint ghost o’ the zigzag-roofed buildings o’ the university of washington:

i sat on the convenient bench to rest for a few minutes, but i could not rest long, as this was still not the end o’ my journey. from here i had 1 mo’ trail south into foster island toward my final checkpoint, the seattle japanese garden.

thankfully, this trail involved no mudponds or half-sunken bridges i needed to cross, but was mostly just a very long paved path bordered by grass & plenty o’ trees. @ this point i was tired ’nough that i was satisfied with the less extravagant scenery if it meant less burden getting to my destination. especially since the unlucky part was that this trail went e’en longer, going o’er 30 minutes & 2 & a half kilometers. because o’ this, i didn’t stop @ as many o’ the distractions this giant parkland area provided, which regrettable included turtle pond, which i didn’t e’en realize was there till i looked back o’er my maps now.

i did stop @ the arboretum garden to use the restroom, refill my water bottle, & buy a book & strange mushroom plush. i’d thought ’bout exploring this arboretum’s flora, but i was confused as to where it went, & i took that as an excuse to continue onward.

finally, i reached the seattle japanese garden. i was so tired & my ankles were so sore that i barely had the energy to explore & admire it, but still forced myself to do so. despite having such an official name as the seattle japanese garden & having to pay a $10 entrance fee, this small garden wasn’t as impressive as the highline seatac botanical garden i visited back in 2022, which was free, had greater variety, & had nicer scenery packed into a smaller space, requiring less trudging.

but i still found much to appreciate in this humble garden’s pretzel-shaped japanese maples fenced off by rocks, stone lanterns, tiny stone bridges, & trickling small waterfalls:

the advantage o’ this garden being so small was that it took no time to scour it in its entirety. by this point my gluttonous, greedy appetite had been o’erfilled & i was ready to head back home — which still required a 15 minute walk thru many blocks o’ random suburban neighborhoods, ending @ a dilapidated bus stop on 24th ave e & boyer ave e, which i was too tired to capture on film. as it turned out, this bus, the 48, led me to just a short walk from the university of washington & its light rail station, — ’cause ’course it has its own rail station — whose train would take me back home. but as i headed toward this station, i saw to my shock behind said station that the university of washington also apparently had its own airport:

& as if to mock my exhaustion, this light rail station for some reason had several flights o’ stairs i had to descend before being able to embark on the train.

despite all the trudgery, in addition to my sore ankles i was also so cold from being out in the rain so long that i was feverish by the time i reached home — a chill that could only be cured with takeout masala & a whole day’s worth o’ sleep.

The map o’ my journey:

Beyond hearing “Youth of the Nation” on the radio, — & I believe that was the only song I e’er heard from this band on the radio — I was 1st introduced to this band from their greatest hits album ( weirdly, I most remember listening to this album while reading a book ’bout the Columbine massacres that my sister got for free from her job @ a book store, which, um… adds an interesting context to this music ), which was a common way for me to accustom myself to a band I learned ’bout from the radio. Tho I have been hesitant to “cheat” & focus on only the hits o’ any nu-metal band, — usually focusing on specific albums so I don’t just focus on the most memeable hits, but also the songs nobody remembers, some o’ which just as worthy o’ memery — this is a series largely based on my own particular experience with nu-metal & 2000s rock music in general. I tried browsing thru this band’s actual albums & couldn’t really decide which album, since I ne’er listened to them before & none seemed to stand out ( tho I s’pose Satellite was the highest contender, especially since ’twas the album with “Youth of the Nation” ).

If you are not familiar with this band, P.O.D., or “Payable on Death”, is a Christian nu-metal band — & unlike Skillet, which was arguably mo’ alternative rock, P.O.D. is unquestionably a nu-metal band, with corny rapping, downtuned guitars, & DJ electronica. P.O.D. is also notable for not being just a bunch o’ pasty-faced honkeys, but with a… Mexican-Italian-indigenous lead singer, who, ne’ertheless, still looks like Fred Durst’s long-lost brother in this Wikipedia article, & a black guitarist. Tragically, they still sound as corny as a bunch o’ rapping crackers, howe’er. So they’re like Rage Against the Machine, but lame: ¡Rage Against the Devil! Actually, that would’ve been a cooler band name than P.O.D., which I know will be get tiring to type.

1. Southtown

I really like this song’s bass, especially @ the beginning & before the 1st & 2nd choruses. The drums are pretty nice, too, specially the rapid drumming @ the end o’ choruses. The guitarwork sounds repetitive, howe’er, as is the singing, which is barely mo’ melodic than talking or mo’ rhythmic than rapping, & sounds ’bout the same in the verses & the choruses, while the bridge is just shouting vague off-brand Rage Against the Machine slogans with the politics stripped out.

The lyrics are… fine. Nobody seemed to care ’nough ’bout them to leave any annotations or explanations on Genius. While they’re vague, they say ’nough to imply the sentiment o’ growing up in a rough neighborhood & praying to God that… I dunno, ¿it gets less rough? ¿The protagonist escapes to nicer neighborhoods? Unfortunately, we don’t get much o’ a picture o’ how rough this neighborhood beyond allusions such as, “you know those kids don’t play”. Some don’t e’en seem specific to the protagonist’s circumstance, like “these times, they’re getting tough” or “could be the next guy that you take before I wake”. I mean, yeah, I guess you’d be mo’ likely to die in a crime-ridden hood; but it’s not as if middle-class people in suburbia don’t think ’bout how they could go @ any time.

Sadly, tho, the lyrics aren’t bad ’nough to be funny. The worst line is probably telling God, “you’re the diamond in this rough”, which just reminds me o’ that South Park joke ’bout Christian songs just being love songs for Jesus. I mean, God isn’t e’en “in this rough”: his ass is safe in heaven, where he doesn’t have to worry ’bout being popped off as a casualty o’ gang violence.

Grade: C

Music Video

It’s your typical late-90s nu-metal music video taking place in a sunny suburb in California with the band members in khakis, dreads, & tats on stage rocking out. I swear I saw this exact same music video for a Papa Roach & Sum 41 song.

Grade: C

2. Boom

1st, the rapping in this song is much bouncier than the previous song, as is the grinding guitar riffs. The bass isn’t as interesting, but it’s close with that breakdown in the opening o’ the bridge.

The lyrics are a mixed bag. There’s mo’ rhyming & a li’l mo’ detail to what the rapper is saying, but they’re still not really saying anything, & the topic o’ this song is less interesting: it’s just a brag rap ’bout being successful; & since this is a ‪✝︎-rock band, they can’t e’en go that hard on the bragging.

The funniest thing ’bout this song I just learned is that ’twas included on Clear Channel’s lame-ass memorandum on songs that requested their stations not to play after 9/11, because remembering explosions exist, e’en metaphorical 1s by a Christian rock-rap band, would’ve traumatized all Americans.

Grade: C

Music Video

This is a much mo’ interesting music video than “Southtown”’s: P.O.D. in their orange jumpsuits show how badass they are by… beating a bunch o’ nerds @ table tennis. Also, they barely win against the nerds.

Grade: A

3. Going in Blind

This was 1 o’ the songs I’d skip when listening to this album, & now I know why: it sucks ass. The singing is terrible, lacking any kind o’ compelling rhythm or melody, stretched out agonizingly in places that don’t deserve it, & has way too much forced vocal energy & in general is melodramatic, especially those goofy ass echoes on the odd lines in the verses.

The lyrics are so vague & empty, I have no idea what this song is e’en ’bout, other than that it expresses distress in some way. They seem so jumbled that they almost seem to contradict each other @ times. ¿What does “going in blind” mean? ¿Having faith in God? That’s what, “¿do all these roads lead back to you?”, implies; but “time after time, I can’t see the signs” implies the opposite.

Hell, this song can’t e’en keep its perspective correct, flipping multiple times from 1st & 2nd person, with the 2nd person seeming to change, as well. As mentioned, “¿do all these roads lead back to you?”, implies that the “you” is God, which would be fine mixed with the 1st person, a discussion ’tween the protagonist & God, but the 1st lines in the song is, “this life’s not like you wanted it”, which sounds less like an omnipotent, e’erlasting being who can get whate’er they desire @ the snap o’ a finger & mo’ like a mopey teenager, especially when a later line says, “it’s your right not to feel again, just breathe again”, since I’d expect a Christian not to claim that he can tell God what rights they have or don’t have. The 1st 2 verses sound mo’ like they’re trying to console a suicidal friend; — bad consoling, since “it’s your right not to feel again” sounds like it’s encouraging suicide — but then we get the line, “it’s all right if you’re missing him”. OK, ¿so is the friend suicidal ’cause someone they cared ’bout died? But then immediately after that you get, “in his eyes you can live again, free within”, which implies that they “he” is God. ¿So is the friend “missing” God? ¿Missing how? ¿Did the friend personally know Jesus when Jesus was alive? ¿Or does he mean “missing him”, as in not having Jesus in his life? ¿So it’s OK to not have Jesus in his life, but he should, because “in his eyes you can live again”? This song is a mess.

Also, this song is when I noticed that the mixing on these songs is ass: all the instruments seem to mush together & sound fuzzy, especially the chorus.

Grade: F

Music Video

Another nu-metal music video cliché: the band singing in the dark while we cut to scenes o’ randos having nondescript forms o’ sadness: look, this middle-aged man is cheating on his wife & is reminded o’ his sinful behavior by seeing his ring on his finger.

Grade: D

4. Roots in Stereo

You know you’re in for a treat when you hear 2 generic riffs & drumbeats, followed by some rando crying out, “A-REEKI-OH-OH-OH”, in a fake Jamaican accent. That rando is, as P.O.D. singer Sonny Sandoval announces, Matisyahu, who is a white Jewish person from New York, who, indeed, does reggae.

& speaking o’ Sonny, he doesn’t disappoint with his opening line, “I got that boom bye bye so nobody disrespect jah love”. I don’t know what “that boom bye bye” is, but it sounds dangerous ’nough for Clear Channel to request not playing it on the radio, so I won’t disrespect. The song continues with lyrics o’ this calibre, while Matisyahu chimes in by crying out his own weird phrases a few times, & e’en gets a verse or 2. @ 1 point Matisyahu says to Sonny in a call-&-response verse, “me say, ‘hey, natty dreadlocks, ¿where you come from?”, & Sonny responds with the poetic line, “where the mountains watch the city & waters touch the sun”, whate’er that means, as opposed to what you’d expect: “¿what’d you call me, cracker?”.

E’en the music is going crazy on this song: on some verses during the latter half the guitar just starts squealing repeatedly.

Grade: 5 out o’ 5 Honkey Dreadlocks

5. Alive

This is a nice song. In fact, it’s probably too nice for a nu-metal song: it has the iconic nu-metal downtuned guitars, which are usually used to give a grimy, ugly, dour feel to the song, which is jarring when the singer is singing ’bout how happy he is to be alive, especially during the particularly dour-sounding bridge, where the music slows, the guitarwork is full o’ feedback, & the singer sounds raspy.

The lyrics are what you’d expect: a bunch o’ Hallmark Card clichés. Hell, the 1st 2 lines are, “every day is a new day / i’m thankful for every breath i take”. ’Course, there’s also the vague allusions to God thru lines like, “I can’t deny you”, &, “now that I know you, I could never turn my back away”, which are so vague, they could just be ’bout a human he’s really in love with.

Still, it’s the nicest song so far & the dour sound, whether intentionally or not, adds a dark ironic tone to the song that actually makes it mo’ interesting, like Devo’s “Beautiful World”.

Grade: B

Music Video

This is ’bout the same as “Going in Blind”’s, but in daylight & with mo’ dramatic ( & with worse effects ) filmography. It’s a’least amusingly bad & the scenery o’ P.O.D. rocking under a bunch o’ highways is mo’ interesting than being in front o’ a couple bushes, so it gets some extra points.

Grade: C

6. Youth of the Nation

Their biggest song, & for a good reason: unlike most o’ the songs we’ve heard so far, which couldn’t seem to settle on a coherent tone, blending dour nu-metal sound with optimistic lyrics, this song’s iconic far-’way-sounding bass & military marching drums fits perfectly with this song’s dour subject matter o’ children’s lives falling apart.

Lyrically, too, this song is much better than the others: while it does have that ✝︎-rock condescension & maudlin moralizing, — O no, a girl became a whore… — a’least the stories are specific. Also, “told the world how he felt with the sound of a gat” is probably the hardest lyric P.O.D. has e’er written. E’en the chorus’s repetitiousness, which would many times be a flaw, fits this song, as it’s essentially a chant; & “we are the youth of the nation” is a memorable line.

Grade: A

Music Video

I’m mixed on this music video: it sure looks nice, with that opening NY skyline under thick yellow fog, & the setpiece for the band with the wall o’ pictures o’ students is much mo’ inspired than a generic Californian suburb; but the scenes o’ young people driving round various places doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the song. Like, this is a song with 3 stories in it: ¿you couldn’t show these stories? Contrast with the much mo’ iconic music video to Pearl Jam’s “Jeremy”, which does a great job o’ actually representing the song’s similar subject matter.

7. Sleeping Awake

I always thought this was just your typical ✝︎-rock song ’bout looking forward to dying — naturally, ’course: no cheating by suicide — & going to heaven, which is metaphorically represented by “Zion”, the name o’ the Jewish holy land ( ’course, with how much the Israel-Palestine conflict has flared up yet again & the increased scrutiny the ideology o’ the founding o’ modern Israel, “Zionism”, has gotten, “dreaming of Zion” has different connotations now ); turns out this song is actually ’bout The Matrix, as this song was made for the The Matrix Reloaded soundtrack. Lucky for me, I don’t care, as heaven is as real to me as a city in a sci-fi movie.

This song sounds nice; & unlike “Alive”, it tones down the dour nu-metal elements & sounds softer, rather that deep, but still having a frantic energy to it that keeps it from getting boring. & while I don’t imagine myself singing it @ the latest antiwar protest, “dreaming of Zion awake…” is an infectiously catchy chorus.

Grade: A

Music Video

O, wow, we have the band playing in a brownish-white mansion: we really are going for all the nu-metal music video clichés. O, but we have this side by side with a grimy, sci-fi area — which is a blatant ripoff o’ the music video for Linkin Park’s “Papercut”. Tsk, tsk.

Grade: F

8. Rock the Party (Off the Hook)

& now we’re back to hilarious tonal whiplash: the repetitive rough riffs give this song a menacing sound, but the lyrics are ’bout having the tamest party that Jesus would approve o’, with such cringe lyrics as, “& ain’t nobody getting crazy, so you know it’s all good”. I sure wouldn’t want my party that’s “off the hook” to get too off the hook. On the other hand, this song did predict Fortnite dances with, “floss your style”. It’s too bad, ’cause the aforementioned menacing riffs would sound great with a song whose lyrics aren’t constantly reminding you o’ how lame it is.

Grade: C

Music Video

I could only find this music video on some rando YouTube channel called DarkDave, so hopefully this video doesn’t get taken down. It’s odd that P.O.D. wouldn’t be interested in showing it, since the setpiece o’ them rocking in the middle o’ an absurdly long bus with weird fish-angle shots is 1 o’ the few that isn’t a nu-metal cliché. I mean, nothing really happens in it, but nothing seems to happen in any P.O.D. music videos so far, so the bar is low.

Grade: C

9. Lights Out

& now we have ’nother brag rap with all the hardness o’ Will Smith, with lines like, “chiggity-check, microphone check” & “we bang boogie thru your system, subliminal”.

’Cept this 1 sounds worse: while I like the deep, grinding riffs in the bridge, I’m not found o’ the squeaky, repetitive riffs in the verses.

Grade: D

Music Video

& now we’re back to generic setpieces. ¿Where’d they e’er get the idea to do something so creative as to film themselves on Times Square? You bitches aren’t e’en from NY: you’re from their biggest rival, California. ¿You couldn’t film yourselves in San Diego’s urban center — or, hell, ¿Hollywood?

Grade: D

10. Goodbye for Now

This is a nice song. & unlike “Alive”, this song’s softer strings & notes fit well with this song’s mellower sound. Plus, while the lyrics are still vague, the subject matter o’ dealing with a loved one’s death is much mo’ interesting than just… being happy ’bout being alive. & the leader singer’s singing isn’t nearly as forced.

Grade: B

Music Video

Yup, that lead singer sure is walking thru an unrealistically windy city under the cast o’ a color filter. You know, it’s really sad that the band I choose to do a greatest hits album, with the most music videos, has the least interesting music videos.

Grade: D

11. Execute the Sounds

& then we get yet ’nother brag rap with corny-ass lyrics, — nothing says you’re the “real hardcore”, as they claim, as starting a lyric with counting like you’re the Count: “It goes 1, 2, 3… the crew is called P.O.D.…” — fake-Jamaican rapping, & goofy, annoying twanging strings thruout the verses. I guess the chorus has pretty decent energy.

Grade: D

12. Will You

This is the most generic o’ vague love songs, & worst off, it’s annoying & boring @ the same time: the verses are sing-songy, with an annoyingly repetitive smaltzy ending to e’ery line, the chorus is just shouting & a basic rise in bitch, the bridge is basically just talking & just repeating, “yesterday”, again & again, the instruments go from sounding squeaky in the verses to just being a bland blast o’ noise during the chorus. & if the uninspired lyrics in the bridge aren’t ’nough, the verses, which also mostly just list off vague negative words that rhyme with each other, & the chorus, which is just 2 lines that could come from Valentine’s Day cards, aren’t much better.

Whate’er complaints I’d have ’bout all the earlier songs, a’least they all sounded distinctly P.O.D.: this song could’ve been written & performed by any C-list nu-metal band.

Grade: F

Music Video

This is the 3rd time we have a music video going back & forth ’tween the band rocking in some random place & scenes o’ generic sadness. A’least the setpiece for the band — a construction site with a excavator digging ’hind them — is mo’ interesting than most o’ their other music videos.

Grade: C

13. Truly Amazing

Lol, this song is from the official soundtrack for The Passion of the Christ.

Actually, I like the gloomy bass & low-key singing during the verses, which kind o’ fits the bittersweet energy o’ the whole “humanity is saved ’cause Jesus got literally crucified”. Unfortunately, the annoying chorus, where the singing sounds off pitch & seems to have too much forced energy, kinda ruins it.

What I’m saying, this song’s all right, but for bittersweet song’s ’bout Jesus’s sacrifice, it’s got nothing on “Gethsemane” from the superior Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack.

Grade: C

14. Satellite

In addition to our typical squeaky guitars & a chorus which is just chanting the word, “satellite”, we get the singer sometimes going into this weird baby talk in the verses on parts where he sings, “but only time will tell if it’s truly for real / can’t change your mind all i know this is what i feel” &, fittingly, “some call it asinine”.

Not only does this song work just as well as a generic love song as a Jesus song, it actually works better as a love song for a normal person. I kinda get what the composer was going for by representing an all-seeing deity as a satellite watching o’er you; but what he forgot is that another general factor o’ satellites is that they are subordinate to what they revolve: the satellites are, by the nature o’ the laws o’ physics, smaller masses trapped in the gravity o’ the larger mass. I’m pretty certain depicting God as this li’l helper fairy who exists purely to solve humanity’s issues is blasphemous in all forms o’ Christianity.

Grade: D

Music Video

It’s exactly what you expect: scenes o’ a satellite zooming in on San Diego interspersed with scenes o’ the band jamming. Sometimes they’re on a stage, sometimes they’re in the woods with a gnarly color filter. It’s yet another P.O.D. music video.

Grade: C

15. Set Your Eyes to Zion

Coincidentally, ·“set your eyes to Zion” is what I’m doing, if we describe “Zion” as the holy land o’ when I don’t have to listen to this album anymo’ or have to think o’ interesting things to say ’bout these songs.

So we start with somebody — possibly Sonny Sandoval still; Matisyahu is not credited on this song — saying, “Here Mr. Deadman… rejoice”, in a goofy fake Jamaican accent, & then we get goofy generic tropical riffs that sound mo’ like surf rock than raggae. Also, I think I heard that winchlike sound & the rare rattle sounds from a song in Mario Party. There’s also these alien-like “woooo-oooo” sounds thruout, which don’t sound relevant to raggae or Zion, unless Zion takes place in outerspace.

Meanwhile, the singing & rapping barely sound like they have any rhythm & just feel lazy. E’erything ’bout this song feels lazy. The lyrics aren’t e’en amusingly bad, like with “Roots in Stereo”, but are just uninspired lines ’bout God being great which the composer attempted to texturize by adding stock imagery, like describing God as “shade even @ 96°”. If “Truly Amazing” was an inferior “Gethsemane”, this song is an inferior “Benjamin Calypso” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. A’least that song referenced a specific, interesting part o’ the Bible, where Joseph’s brothers who backstabbed him & intended to leave him to die prove they changed their ways by sacrificing themselves to save their 2nd youngest brother, Benjamin. It will ne’er not boggle my mind that with how many great dramatic stories in the Bible, ✝︎-rock bands ne’er reference them in detail, but just give generic lines ’bout how great God is.

Grade: D

16. Here We Go

I kinda like the deep riffs thru the verses, especially with the short pauses before the drumbeat, but hate the squealing riffs in the chorus & how uninspired the chorus’s melody is.

Lyrically, this song is just a generic love song, but with maybe God mixed in a li’l. Actually, it’s funny: the lyrics in the 2nd verse kinda sound like he’s trying to introduce his girlfriend to God as if he has a cuckold fetish & wants to watch Jesus take his girl. It doesn’t help that he keeps talking ’bout “driving this to its knees” in the bridge. Tho the ending to the 2nd verse is confusing: the 1st 2 lines are, “she never did believe in love until she’d seen him”, implying that she was a dirty atheist before he introduced her to God, but then ends with, “she says you’re going to think I’m crazy / but you got to believe me”, which implies she is the 1 nervously trying to introduce him to her cringe religion.

Grade: C

17. If It Wasn’t for You

You know a song’s good when the 1st think you hear is off-key shouting, “IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU”, only to be followed by corny coffee-shop beatnik monologues ’bout how based Jesus was. Sonically, this goes back & forth ’tween sleep-inducing notes & loud blasts o’ manufactured music, none o’ which I particularly enjoy listening to.

Also, this is nitpicking, but “if it wasn’t for you, none o’ this would mean a thing”, is an absurd line for a Christian to God. Christian theology holds that without God, you wouldn’t e’en be able to sing this song — which, now that I think ’bout it, might not be the best way to sell cynical atheists on wanting to be happy ’bout God’s existence. E’en mo’ absurd is the following line, “if it wasn’t for you, tell me, ¿why else would I believe?”. I mean, yeah, if you were sure there was no God, then by definition you wouldn’t be believing in the existence o’ God — that’s what “believing” means.

Grade: D

Conclusion

In hindsight, given all the meming we’ve done together on various other nu-metal bands, it’s surprising how… bland P.O.D. is. “Roots in Stereo” was the only song worth meming on — & e’en it was no “Monster” by Skillet or “Rawkfist”. & beyond a few standout tracks, hardly any o’ these songs are surprise bangers or e’en worth remembering @ all. It almost feels… blasphemous, ironically, to have a rap-rock nu-metal ✝︎-rock band that’s so forgettable.

One might argue that my decision to focus only on the hits may have skewed my experience here, but I’m almost certain it made things better than the alternative: I listened thru albums like Satellite & their self-titled, & if anything, the deep cuts on those albums are e’en lamer & mo’ forgettable.

Final Grade: 😴