27. Maze Woods Story 2: Defeat the giant spear man Riding the moving turtles, introduced in this level, is refreshingly rare in this game, being used only twice mo’; & tho it is an autoscroll mechanic, a’least this level was laid out in a way that minimizes standing around doing nothing. Nor is it used […]
I was originally planning on avoiding talking ’bout the assassination o’ Trump’s right ear, — ¡typical leftist bias! — so I wouldn’t be put on a list when “Massive Dumps” Trump is coronated as CEO for Life o’ the new Patriotic States of America, or the reveal that Biden had a been an animated vegetable […]
33. One Noisy Morning Story 3: Let the water out! A weaker version o’ the level that comes just before it. While I can understand the interest in wanting to develop the “story” o’ Wario’s castle flooding, taking up 2 / 5 o’ the 1st castle chapter with pseudowater levels is pushing it. This level […]
The elephant in the room Before I start, I have to acknowledge the recent news that Disturbed’s lead singer, David Draiman, played an ultimate boomer move in signing an IDF missile for Israel, which means he’s a shoo-in to be invited to write an op-ed for Newsweek. As I proclaimed in that very same article, […]
39. Invade Wario Castle Story 2: Storm the castle!! Like the rest o’ the levels in this underwhelming chapter, this level is mostly a bunch o’ mid or weak challenges that repeat mechanics from other levels, lack much cohesion, & just in general goes on a bit too long. Particularly baffling is the dark room […]
