There exist two commonly contrasted prose styles: purple and beige. Authors who verse in purple prose gush extravagant diction, saturated with figurative language that attempts to magnetize readers’ glazed eyes to the style—and thus it is often criticized for obnoxiously distracting attention away from the important part of a story: the actual story. One could […]
The pretend breakthrough of economic thought that is the discovery that resources cannot be objectively qualified is often claimed to be proof that “socialism” is infeasible, despite this idea already being noted by socialists such as Proudhon[1] and even Marx[2] long before the neoclassicals and Austrian-schoolers. It does, indeed, prove that an economy managed by […]
Nature, how your magnificence shall never cease; Unlike some other woman on which I could speak. Gaze at how the tall golden grass dances in the breeze, How the finches flap their wings and chirp with their beaks, How they don’t leave me for that dick John Smothers and his fancy-ass law firm. The sun’s […]
How I have missed your sight, feline, Dying on the side of the street, lying in the pines; Your cute little eyes popped out of their holes, Hanging from pink strands stickily attached to the inside of your skull. Years ago I would see you on my way home, Sticking with your flesh soldered to […]
My rest is ravaged by nightmares, thanks to the guilt Of the terrible deed that still makes my heart wilt. Though I fear this may reveal me, I cannot keep this secret alone; For if else, I shall be driven mad down to the bone. So, if you please, listen to this story Of how […]
It all started when I left my hive at 2:00 PM, As I ventured through the weeds, grains, and stems; Bounced around the bulbous mushroom caps of various colors; And rode along the pollen flying in the zephyr. My destination was the patches of New Chrysanthemum, Where I would carry out my shift as Executive […]
Steal Joe was a freedom-loving American, So he did what he had to do: He overthrew the tyrannical government, So his economic chains could finally be eschewed. Now he could do with his property what he desired; Nobody would boss him around. He charged whatever rent he concocted; No regulations to keep him down. After […]
Although the first game is by far the best known, I always viewed the other two as superior. This is especially so for the second game, Diddy’s Kong Quest, (though that’s not too surprising, as it seems to be most people’s favorite) but for the controversial third game, Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble!, as well. The […]
3. It’s a Copy of Another Level It is understandable that Nintendo had to repeat some levels, considering the technical limitations of the time; but why pick 7-3, which was a horrible level already? Why not pick an actual good level? 2. It Mixes Three Luck-Based Mechanics for Optimal Bullshit Namely, wind, springs, and Lakitu—the […]
What makes Super Mario RPG’s music work so well is its mix of virtually everything good about music: It can somehow be both heavy and melodic at the same time, mixing catchy beats and swelling orchestra at the same time. While most good music has at least one of these elements, and many games have […]
