Dicen que no puedo llevar a casa suministros de trabajo,

pero no pueden impedirme llevar a casa la luna.

They say I can’t take supplies home from work,

but they can’t stop me from taking home the moon.

My opinion on Mario Kart: Super Circuit has flipflopped o’er the years: @ 1st I remembered it fondly, then I played it ‘gain round the late 2000s & realized how shitty the controls were, & now I’ve gotten round to not disliking it so much. I still can’t comprehend this game’s controls, no matter how much I’ve practiced & no matter how many defenders online claim that it’s great once you get used to them.

That said, I do have to acknowledge that it was a precursor to many o’ the things that made Mario Kart DS so great, like retro courses & rankings. It also does have great music & memorable race tracks, like “Ribbon Road,” “Sunset Wilds,” “Sky Garden,” the rainy “Luigi Circuit,” & “Cheese Land.” & e’en if the graphics are so blurry that they look like a drunk-driving stimulator & Luigi’s voice sounds as if he’d taken helium (apparently this was his original Japanese voice in Mario Kart 64), there’s a charm to them. Also, it’s not as if he’s any less annoying in Mario Kart 64 (I still have “¡BINGO! ¡HO-HO-HO!” & “¡MAMAMIIAAAAA!” lodged in my god damn head). I only wish it had “¡LUIGI IS THE POPE!” like in the Japanese Mario Kart 64.

An example o’ my tremendous skill @ this game.

The retro courses were just all o’ the tracks from Super Mario Kart, but with updated graphics & divided into 5 cups o’ 4 courses ‘stead o’ the original 4 cups o’ 5 courses, which ‘splains the addition o’ the “Lightning Cup.” However, many o’ the obstacles that were in the original aren’t in these, which is lame, & the graphics are mostly just the same as the main tracks’, making me think these were sort o’ shoved in @ the last second.

To unlock them, one must get a star ranking on a cup after getting gold on every 150cc cup. Other than that, the only unlockables are 2 different title screens: the sunset title screen, which one also gets for getting gold on all 150cc cups & is quite easy, & the night title screen with new music, which requires getting a 3 star ranking on every regular cup, which is borderline impossible. I doubt hardly anyone has done this, since I can’t find any screenshots or YouTube videos o’ it (though I was able to find a save file online, I guess). Then ‘gain, maybe it’s just that nobody gave a shit ’bout Mario Kart: Super Circuit & just ne’er bothered.

¿Have you gotten the night title screen in Mario Kart: Super Circuit? Nobody cares, you narcissistic braggart.

hours after lunch
stuck to my thumb
peanut butter

4 looms ‘bove—
not ‘nough time to hear
every song.

‘Cause we must celebrate Hitler’s birthday & the anniversary o’ the Columbine Massacres with the 3rd most horrific thing to e’er exist… ‘Cause we must celebrate 4/20 with something that only someone on 2 tons o’ pot could stare @ without going mad…

black spring tea
before drowsy eyes
multiplies

Limeade tea—
$1;
rain sprinkles—
free o’ charge.

Sie sagte, „¡Hey, sieh, sie fielen alle in der Eimer!“

Und die folgende Stille schrie zurück, „Hey, niemand kümmert sich.“

She said, “¡Hey, look, they all fell in the bucket!”

& the following silence shouted back, “Hey, nobody cares.”

the feeling o’
lukewarm washcloths on
my pimples