The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

Don’t Fuck It Up

Don’t fuck it up. It’s okay… Everything’ll be fine… But don’t fuck it up. Think how exciting it must be! The risks! Throw down the dice & how you don’t get snake eyes… You’ll shrivel and die… You’ll do fine… If you truly want to live, You’ll do everything right. The hand knows everything… It […]

Posted in Poetry

I Deserved It

I have no one to blame but myself: Didn’t take proper care o’ my teeth. & now they’ve all fallen out. Can’t waste the dentist’s precious time placing them back in. No, I must have my just desserts. My taste buds crave them. But thanks to me, now I can’t eat; & when I can’t […]

Posted in Crazy, Poetry

What I Think ‘Bout the World

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Posted in Crazy, Poetry

$

Ma, can I please borrow a $?I swear I’ll pay it back ‘ventually.…Just 1 mo’ $;I swear this’ll get me on my feet.…I know it’s been taking a while,but if you give me just a few mo’ $s,I swear I can pay you back with interest ‘ventually. Boy, it’s time you learned how to cut […]

Posted in Crazy, Poetry

Laughing

It’s better to die laughing.That’s why I’m always laughing. Heheheh.

Posted in Crazy, Poetry

Ode to Nature that Shalt Not Leave Me

Nature, how your magnificence shall never cease; Unlike some other woman on which I could speak. Gaze at how the tall golden grass dances in the breeze, How the finches flap their wings and chirp with their beaks, How they don’t leave me for that dick John Smothers and his fancy-ass law firm. The sun’s […]

Posted in Poetry

Ode to Bloody, Run-Over Cat Corpse

How I have missed your sight, feline, Dying on the side of the street, lying in the pines; Your cute little eyes popped out of their holes, Hanging from pink strands stickily attached to the inside of your skull. Years ago I would see you on my way home, Sticking with your flesh soldered to […]

Posted in Poetry

The Guilt Flashes Before My Eyes

My rest is ravaged by nightmares, thanks to the guilt Of the terrible deed that still makes my heart wilt. Though I fear this may reveal me, I cannot keep this secret alone; For if else, I shall be driven mad down to the bone. So, if you please, listen to this story Of how […]

Posted in Poetry

I Saw It on My Way to New Chrysanthemum

It all started when I left my hive at 2:00 PM, As I ventured through the weeds, grains, and stems; Bounced around the bulbous mushroom caps of various colors; And rode along the pollen flying in the zephyr. My destination was the patches of New Chrysanthemum, Where I would carry out my shift as Executive […]

Posted in Poetry

Freedom!

Steal Joe was a freedom-loving American, So he did what he had to do: He overthrew the tyrannical government, So his economic chains could finally be eschewed. Now he could do with his property what he desired; Nobody would boss him around. He charged whatever rent he concocted; No regulations to keep him down. After […]

Posted in Poetry, Politics