The Mezunian

I was originally planning on avoiding talking ’bout the assassination o’ Trump’s right ear, — ¡typical leftist bias! — so I wouldn’t be put on a list when “Massive Dumps” Trump is coronated as CEO for Life o’ the new Patriotic States of America, or the reveal that Biden had a been an animated vegetable […]

33. One Noisy Morning Story 3: Let the water out! A weaker version o’ the level that comes just before it. While I can understand the interest in wanting to develop the “story” o’ Wario’s castle flooding, taking up 2 / 5 o’ the 1st castle chapter with pseudowater levels is pushing it. This level […]

The elephant in the room Before I start, I have to acknowledge the recent news that Disturbed’s lead singer, David Draiman, played an ultimate boomer move in signing an IDF missile for Israel, which means he’s a shoo-in to be invited to write an op-ed for Newsweek. As I proclaimed in that very same article, […]

39. Invade Wario Castle Story 2: Storm the castle!! Like the rest o’ the levels in this underwhelming chapter, this level is mostly a bunch o’ mid or weak challenges that repeat mechanics from other levels, lack much cohesion, & just in general goes on a bit too long. Particularly baffling is the dark room […]

Considering The Mezunian rightly predicted Clinton’s victory in 2016 & Trump’s victory in 2020, we know that e’eryone in the US cares deeply ’bout The Mezunian’s coveted presidential election prediction, so using 538’s goofy interactive map maker, I present to you a doubly nice prediction map: ¡Just look @ those elegant land lines surrounded by […]

’Mong the various delusional ambitions I’ve had o’er the course o’ my life — & still have, which includes the recent “video game level critic”, which isn’t a career, & still writer & game developer, despite only making tiny updates in both these categories nowadays — when I was a kid I had ambitions o’ […]