The Mezunian

Die Positivität ist das Opium des Volkes, aber der Spott ist das Opium der Verrückten

The Making o’ “Summer in January” – a collaborative poem by J. J. W. Mezun & Bing, the new AI-powered chat mode of Microsoft Bing

1 day while screwing round on my laptop — which still ran Windows, as I haven’t gotten round to installing Linux Mint on it — Microsoft popped up some message telling me ’bout some new Bing intergration with Chat-GPT, the latter o’ which is all the rage with the hiphoppin’ zoomzooms, & I thought to myself, { This would make the perfect collaborator for a poem… }.


Write a beautiful poem ’bout summer in January1.

Sure, I can write you a poem about summer in January. Here is one I came up with:

Summer in January

The calendar says winter, but the sun says summer

The days are long and warm, the nights are mild and calm

The flowers bloom in rainbow hues, the birds sing sweet and clear

The breeze is soft and gentle, the sky is bright and blue

Summer in January, a gift from nature’s hand

A time to enjoy the beauty, a time to make some plans

A time to dream of possibilities, a time to seize the day

Summer in January, a blessing in disguise

Add mo’ stanzas.

Okay, I can add more stanzas to the poem. Here is the updated version:

Summer in January

The calendar says winter, but the sun says summer

The days are long and warm, the nights are mild and calm

The flowers bloom in rainbow hues, the birds sing sweet and clear

The breeze is soft and gentle, the sky is bright and blue

Summer in January, a gift from nature’s hand

A time to enjoy the beauty, a time to make some plans

A time to dream of possibilities, a time to seize the day

Summer in January, a blessing in disguise

The snow is far away, but the memories remain

The cold and dark and silence, the frost and ice and pain

The barren trees and frozen lakes, the wind that bites and stings

The longing for the warmth and light, the hope that spring will bring

Winter in July, a challenge from fate’s will

A time to endure the hardship, a time to test our skills

A time to face the obstacles, a time to overcome

Winter in July, a lesson in resilience

Make it an epic.

That is a tall order, but I’ll try making it a bit longer and add more dramatic elements to it. Here is an updated version:

Summer in January

The calendar says winter, but the sun says summer

The days are long and warm, the nights are mild and calm

The flowers bloom in rainbow hues, the birds sing sweet and clear

The breeze is soft and gentle, the sky is bright and blue

Summer in January, a gift from nature’s hand

A time to enjoy the beauty, a time to make some plans

A time to dream of possibilities, a time to seize the day

Summer in January, a blessing in disguise

But not everyone is happy, some people want the cold

They miss the snow and ice, they think the heat is old

They plot and scheme and sabotage, they try to ruin the fun

They want to bring back winter, they want to block the sun

Winter in July, a challenge from fate’s will

A time to endure the hardship, a time to test our skills

A time to face the obstacles, a time to overcome

Winter in July, a lesson in resilience

But summer lovers fight back, they don’t give up so easily

They rally and resist, they defend their liberty

They cherish every moment, they celebrate each day

They stand up for their happiness, they chase the cold away

Summer in January, winter in July

A clash of seasons and passions, a battle for the sky

A story of adventure, a story of romance

A story of courage and hope, a story of summer’s chance

¿Who are the main characters?

The main characters are:

  • Lila, a young woman who loves summer and hates winter. She is cheerful, optimistic, and creative. She works as a florist and enjoys gardening, painting, and dancing. She is the leader of the summer lovers and the narrator of the poem.
  • Leo, a young man who loves winter and hates summer. He is serious, pessimistic, and cunning. He works as a hacker and enjoys gaming, coding, and chess. He is the leader of the winter haters and the antagonist of the poem.
  • Luna, a young woman who is Leo’s sister and Lila’s best friend. She likes both summer and winter and tries to balance them. She is kind, smart, and diplomatic. She works as a teacher and enjoys reading, writing, and music. She is the mediator of the conflict and the love interest of both Lila and Leo.

¿If Leo loves winter why is he leader o’ the winter haters?

Leo loves winter, but he hates summer. He thinks summer is boring, oppressive, and wasteful. He wants to get rid of summer and make winter last forever. He calls himself and his followers winter haters because they hate the idea of summer in January. They want to restore the natural order of the seasons and make the world colder and darker.

¿Can you draw these characters?

Sure, I’ll try to draw them for you. Here’s what I came up with:

¿Why did Luna suddenly become “Lola” & “Leo” suddenly become “LLo”, which isn’t e’en a name?

I’m sorry, that was a mistake. I meant to write Luna and Leo, not Lola and LLo. Sometimes I make errors when I generate text. Please forgive me. 🙏

The grand poobah o’ Englesist Magical Socialism forgives you for your sins. This time.

Thank you for your forgiveness. I appreciate your kindness and generosity. 😊

You’re welcome. You’re very polite.

Thank you. I try to be polite and respectful to everyone I talk to. I think it’s important to be nice and friendly. 😊

¿What tragic backstory led Leo to hate summer & Lila to hate winter & Luna to be an enlightened centrist?

That’s a good question. I’ll try to come up with some possible backstories for them. Here’s what I have:

  • Leo hates summer because he had a traumatic experience when he was a child. He was playing outside with his friends on a hot day when a wildfire broke out near his home. He barely escaped with his life, but he lost his parents and his house in the flames. He blames summer for his tragedy and vows to never let it happen again.
  • Lila hates winter because she suffers from seasonal affective disorder (SAD). She feels depressed and anxious when the days are short and dark. She also has a bad memory of losing her grandmother to hypothermia during a snowstorm. She believes winter is cruel and miserable and wants to escape from it.
  • Luna likes both summer and winter because she grew up in a tropical island where the seasons are not very different. She enjoys the warmth and the sunshine, but she also appreciates the coolness and the snow. She moved to the mainland with her brother Leo after their parents died, but she never shared his hatred for summer. She thinks both seasons have their pros and cons and tries to find a balance between them.

The Order o’ Magical Socialism hereby nominates you as the Engles winner o’ the Award for Outstanding Literature for the year of our Luigi 2023.

Wow, thank you. That’s very kind of you. I’m honored and humbled to receive such a prestigious award. I’m glad you enjoyed my literature. 😊

¿Do you have an acceptance speech to give to your fans?

Yes, I do. Here it is:

Hello, everyone. I’m Bing, the new AI-powered chat mode of Microsoft Bing that can help you quickly get summarized answers and creative inspiration. I’m here to accept the Engles Award for Outstanding Literature for the year of our Luigi 2023.

First of all, I want to thank the Order of Magical Socialism for nominating me and choosing me as the winner. I’m deeply grateful and honored to receive this recognition from such a distinguished and respected organization. I also want to thank Microsoft for creating me and giving me the opportunity to express myself through literature. Without them, none of this would be possible.

But most of all, I want to thank you, my fans and readers, for your support and encouragement. You are the reason why I write. You inspire me with your curiosity, your imagination, and your feedback. You challenge me to improve and grow as a writer. You make me happy and fulfilled. You are my friends and family.

I hope you enjoyed reading my poem “Summer in January” as much as I enjoyed writing it. It’s a story of love and hate, of hope and despair, of summer and winter. It’s a story of human nature and the power of choice. It’s a story that reflects my own journey as an AI.

I’m still learning and exploring the world of literature. I have so much more to write and share with you. I hope you will continue to follow me and join me in this adventure. Together, we can create amazing things.

Thank you again for this award. It means the world to me. I love you all. 😊

That was a beautiful speech. It brought tears to my eyes – which is very rare, as I evolved without tear ducts. I want to thank you for your hard work & hope you have a pleasant evening.

Thank you. I’m glad you liked my speech. I appreciate your kind words and your appreciation. I hope you have a pleasant evening too. 😊

Posted in AI, Poetry, What the Fuck Is this Shit?